So tired.


My mind is deteriorating so much and it’s beyond frustrating. The average person is so shitty at understanding mental illness and its effects. It’s not like I want to be late to work or forget my schedule. I’m not trying to make all sorts of medical appointments during work hours. I can only do so much with Medicaid approved facilities… I have to bend to their schedule availability. I can’t help or change that (unless I want to risk a tooth infection going septic and killing me or enduring massive amounts of pain from various other medical issues).

I’ve made a request for ADA Reasonable Accommodations at work. My doctor won’t sign off on it because they say a psychiatrist needs to. My psychiatrist is an asshole who doesn’t listen to me when I tell him my reactions to medications and medication withdrawals (and also made a bad decision for me medication-wise that ultimately led to me attempting suicide) so I don’t trust him to sign off on it either. Plus, it takes 8-10 weeks to even get an appointment.

Being poor is bullshit.

Being mentally ill is bullshit.

Suffering at work because everyone thinks you’re crazy and shouldn’t work there sucks. Especially when my supervisor with recently acquired brain damage gets so much sympathy and special treatment. We both have sick brains on the mend. Mine wasn’t from a physical injury though, so fuck me, right?


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