Every day is like a game show and all of my memories are contestants. The name of the game is “How Can I Make Myself Sad Today?” and there are no points. The purpose of the game is to see how close to suicide I can get every day without actually killing myself.
Example of one episode:
Day is fine, starts out great. The weather is my favorite (warm, but super cloudy) and I have no immediate stress-factors. No one acts negatively towards me and I feel okay with my appearance. Sounds great.
Round 1: You should feel really bad about drinking on Friday. Your resolution was to stop.
Round 2: Remember last time you tried to kill yourself?
Round 3: Last time, you reached out to your “BFF” of fourteen years. Her response was that she’s too busy with her other friend(s) to give you any sort of relief that you desperately are begging for.
Bonus Round: Your stomach is already upset from lunch. Deal with that now, too.
To see how today’s episode went, stay tuned for further posts. If there are no future posts; Team Memories won.