I can’t talk to anyone that I know personally. Strangers don’t have the right insight because, well, they don’t know me. I don’t know who to tell (yet again) that I am so depressed I can hardly keep my handle on life. Who hasn’t heard it 700 times before? Is there anyone left in my life who will take me seriously rather than say “sorry you feel that way” and nothing more? I have spent the past few years screaming for help and telling everyone around me that I can’t hold on for too much longer; not if I’m in this alone. Those who claim to care about me most never know what to say; they say they’ll do anything they can to help me but neither of us knows what will help.
All I know is that I have been teetering on the edge for too long and all it will take is one small fumble at the wrong time to send me over the edge into the abyss.
Sometimes I wish my mind would just break so I could live in delusions instead of this pathetic reality.