Everyone has heard the term “self sabotage” but how many are willing to admit they participate in it? I’ve recently been made aware of my fear of success. I slack off at work, I half-ass my school work, I ignore new friends, I refuse to work out or eat healthy, and I just drift through life like a waste of space.

The toughest part is knowing I could excel at anything if I tried.

So why don’t I try? Why don’t I make an effort? Those who suffer from mental illnesses tend to experience resistance towards anything that will help them get better; including taking medication. Despite my awareness of this issue, I still suffer from it and have made no effort to get better. The me that sits in the center of my soul is shouting in frustration for me to just accept help. The outer layers of me are smothered in the dark shadows of depression, attacked by anxiety, and distracted by my failure to improve.

I want to get better, but I also know that the path to a cure is so, so, so difficult. The hardest part is this first step. The first of many difficult steps that will eventually get easier as time goes on.

What I need is a swift kick in the ass to get me moving.


2 thoughts on “Underachiever

  1. wOah. totally relate to your point that there’s a you sitting inside screaming to get help, I didn’t know other people felt that way too. I wish I could offer you some help or a tip for this but I’m in this state as well. I really wish you the best and if someone hasn’t told you in a while, YOU CAN DO IT. I believe in you and you can do this. feel free to talk to me anytime 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I appreciate knowing that another person out there can relate, even if it is on a sad subject. I hope you also make it through and get better while I try to do the same ♥



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s