I’ve spent a while focusing on getting over the negative portions of my life. Although plentiful, do they really matter in the long run?
My personal theory on spirituality is a mix of many others’ theories; I just happened to come to these conclusions myself before realizing many philosophers and religions mention exactly what I could not articulate. It’s too daunting of a task to sit here and list each of my beliefs on the soul and reality, but one thought in particular has been on my mind frequently today.
I’ve come to realize that most of the population can at least entertain the idea of past lives even if it conflicts with their religious beliefs. So many recollections and encounters that I have read/heard/seen myself are so similar in nature that I can’t deny them in good conscience.
In order to really explain why I am a believer, I need to backtrack a bit and tell a somewhat paranormal story from my childhood. When I had just barely turned five years old I had moved in to a house with my single mom. Having no siblings, I comfortably rested in my very own bedroom. My twin sized bed was against the wall underneath my window. On one evening I woke up cold as ice. Not thinking much of it initially, I rolled over to make sure my window was shut. There was a man laying in my bed next to me fully clothed in professional business attire from head to toe. His mustache was neatly trimmed and his haircut looked fresh. The only thing that kept him from looking completely normal was that he was as white as a marble statue. When he looked at me I could see that his eyes were just white; no iris or pupil. As any kid would, I freaked the hell out and woke my mom up. I spent the rest of the night shivering and clutching her arm while she tried to sleep. Shortly thereafter, she thought it may be a good idea to take me to a psychic that her best friend recommended. I don’t remember anything about the visit other than playing with a zen garden and feeling a warm safe light around me. I don’t know what we discussed or who I thought she was. I had forgotten about it until I was a teenager and odd things began to happen. (That’s another blog entry in the future, sorry guys.) My mom told me the psychic believed I was a young Egyptian boy who was a very, very old soul. A different friend of hers saw a different psychic a few years later. They discussed me and mentioned that I was an Egyptian boy who was an old soul. I had only found out about this encounter after I showed a natural inclination to ancient Egyptian culture.
Throughout my life I have felt memories that I don’t believe are from my current life. The first clear one I remember was quite violent and I had a strong feeling it was in self-defense. I had hair and blood between my fingers with bits of bone fragments. I could feel the horror, the shame, the fear, and the adrenaline. This memory came with the strong thought that I was royalty and defending my family. I was jogging in Phys Ed when this memory struck. It was so random and vivid that I nearly fainted. I still don’t know where it came from or if it was even my memory.
The next memory came in a dream. In reality, I had yet to learn about any geographical wonders like Machu Picchu. In the dream, that is most definitely where I was. The tiered hills were filled to the brim with joyous people in ritualistic clothing. Everyone was drinking out of crude golden goblets and singing to the sky. The sun was coming close to setting and the air felt tingly with energy. A man with bright orange hair like fire (I’m thinking maybe this was ceremonial cloth or feathers) offered me a goblet. It was filled with blood and some kind of wine. I felt at home and excited for the night to come. Years later, I learned about Machu Picchu in school. Upon seeing the photos of this place my jaw dropped. This was not the last time I had dreamed about real places before knowing about them, but the others are so much less significant I will leave them out for now.
After having so many memories that don’t fit my current life, I decided to seek out a hypnotherapist who specializes in past life regression therapy. As much of a believer as I am, I admit even I was highly skeptical. Once the session was done, however, my mind was beyond blown by the detail I could recall. I recognized people in my past as people who I already have deemed my soulmates in this life. Soulmates do not have to be romantic, mind you. The memory drawn out by the therapist was about me being a Native American woman whose tribe was destroyed, forcing me to relocate with the only other survivor. I later married him and had his daughter. He was killed by white men a few years later. Through the memory of the clothing and dwellings, I was able to determine the specific tribes I had been part of and the time I was there. Personally, I have never found American history to be interesting in the slightest. Now, I can’t get enough of it. My daughter is now my little sister who I love as dearly as a daughter. I couldn’t find my mother but I knew she was there. The man I married was recognizable as the man I had started dating only two months or so before my therapy session. Things have gone so easily and so well with him that I have no doubt we have been married before.
Goodness, that took forever to type out!
My main point in sharing this is that each and every life we live is chosen before we are born. Each lifetime has a valuable lesson that your soul must learn before moving to the next lesson. Once your soul has achieved the required knowledge to move on, it does. I don’t know how I know this for certain but my gut tells me it is absolutely true. I believe my lesson in this life is patience. While I know that, I still struggle to achieve it every day. I still have plenty of time to try and try again. The difficulties I endure in this life are crucial to the learning process. I know I get hurt (easily) and things don’t go my way, but that is intentional to teach me to appreciate what does come easily. You can not have light without darkness.
When you are struggling in life, remember that it is only a lesson. It won’t be a problem for all of eternity. Do your best to focus on the root of the problem and how you can fix it. If you aren’t sure you can fix it, meditate on it as often as you can. The answer will come to you.